In day to day life, you encounter many different types of people: the good, the bad, the positive, and the negative. It is your choice who you let into your life and who you keep out. When you make the decision that you will remove the negative people from your life, you are well on your way to having the life you want.
Surrounding yourself with positive people who encourage and support you as you learn new things and grow is wonderful. But, it is possible for one of these positive people to become negative. Whether it is because they experience tragedy in their life, they have been hurt and are resentful and angry, or something else, they are now a negative influence on you, and you need to remove them from your life. This doesn’t mean you have to remove them permanently. It could be that you decide to remove them temporarily until they work through the anger and hurt that is making them so negative.
When Do You Cut Them From Your Life? The easy answer is – when they begin causing you harm. The difficult part is recognizing what the harm is. It will begin with you being uncomfortable around the person. Or, when you find yourself feeling and thinking negatively after spending time with them. This is when you need to become aware of just how negative they are, and the influence they are having on you.
Some signs that they are negative and you will benefit from cutting them from your life:
- They complain all the time and are not interested in hearing solutions.
- They gossip about others and put others down.
- They like to play Devil’s Advocate when you share something good in your life or share your goals with them.
- They are unsupportive or dismissive of you when you talk about how you think or feel about something.
- They love to blame others as the reason for their unhappiness.
- They are critical of others and unwilling to take responsibility for their own faults.
How to Cut Them From Your Life? Accept that it might be a process and not something you can do after one conversation. It will depend on the type of relationship you have with the person.
Here are some options for you:
- Don’t feel like you owe them an explanation. Tell them how you feel, a subject that is not open for debate. Maybe say that you’ve been getting a lot of negative energy from them and simply don’t want that in your life.
- Disconnect from them on social media. Hide their updates or remove them from your connections.
- Consider creating distance instead of separation. Occupy your time with other friends and activities being careful to limit your time with them.
- Make a point of being more positive around them. Be positive on purpose. Much like the “kill them with kindness” approach, by being more positive you may actually help them to improve – or make it easy for them to walk away from you.